How Much Am I Worth?

Evidently, as much as a Porsche today.

Negotiations have begun to temporarily trade me for a Porsche. I'm trying to figure out what the terms are, as I'd like to come 'as is', which will only work if the car is used. If it's new, I'll also have to be 'new'.

A convertible has been requested.

I have been assured that I won't have to pretend to be any sort of furniture, and that's a relief.

Obviously, my pre-existing behaviors/characteristics are non-negotiable. And that might be a deal breaker.

This is purely hypothetical...although I've been reminded that this is how the sofa conversation started and I ended up with one of those.

A car costs a lot more. I'm trusting in that.

Or I'm in big trouble.