The Ubersexual

BAH.
Because what we need is another title for a heterosexual male.

Metrosexual or Ubersexual? How to Spot the Difference

* Both are passionate, but the uber is passionate about causes and
principles, while the metro is mostly passionate about himself

* The uber spends more time grooming his mind than his hair

* Both treat and respect women as equals, but the uber considers other
men, not women, his best friends

* The uber is more sensual and not at all self-conscious; he doesn't need
other people to tell him he's sexy -- nor does he plan his errands
around which shop windows offer the best reflection

* The metro gets design tips from the Fab Five; the uber gets them from
his travels and interest in art and culture

* The uber knows the difference between right and wrong and will make the
right decision regardless of what others around him may think; the metro
knows the difference between toner and exfoliant -- and worries that
he's using yesterday's brand

"The descriptor 'uber' was chosen because it means the best, the
greatest," says Salzman. "Ubersexuals are the most attractive (not just
physically), most dynamic, and most compelling men of their generations. They
are confident, masculine, stylish, and committed to uncompromising quality in
all areas of life."

JWT's Top Ten
Here, in reverse order, are the top ten men JWT says embody everything
uber:

10. Jon Stewart: He is outspoken without regard to what other people think
(as evidenced by his skewering his hosts during this year's
Advertising Week). He is supportive of women and pokes fun at himself
in a self-deprecating way.

9. Guy Ritchie: His masculinity is unquestioned even though he's married
to one of the world's top music icons. (In fact, gravitating toward
strong women tends to be an uber trait.)

8. Pierce Brosnan: His James Bond strength was never compromised when we
watched him publicly mourn his first wife (and raise her children). He
has Remington Steele's classic elegance and savoir faire.

7. Ewan McGregor: A handsome, fashionable family man, McGregor is
versatile enough to go from riding his Harley Davidson around the
world to walking the red carpet. He is comfortable in his own
sexuality.

6. Barack Obama: At the DNC, he managed to marry sentimental love of
family with a new face of patriotism. And he looks sharp in a suit.

5. Arnold Schwarzenegger: He journeyed from body builder to mega movie
star to politician, all the while keeping his shoes buffed and hair in
place. He has succeeded in every challenge he's faced, and he has a
Kennedy for a wife.

4. Donald Trump: Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain
about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women
find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money.

3. Bill Clinton: A born charmer with Southern roots who is not afraid to
cry. He is a supremely confident, decisive leader. And he has
supremely sexy hands.

2. George Clooney: He appreciates the finer things in life (including his
villa on the shores of Lake Como), and he is strongly bonded with and
loyal to a cadre of male friends. His timeless image has allowed him
to rise from B-sitcoms to box-office hits, some of which he's directed
and/or produced.

1. Bono: He's global, socially aware, confident, and compassionate, and
he commands a huge base of followers who are fans of his music -- and
his humanitarianism. Is it any wonder rumors are swirling about a
Nobel Peace Prize?


I'm going to hide under my desk now.