Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Planning Ahead

So while I'm awaiting a decision from San Jose on my admission to grad school, I've had to entertain the 'What if I Don't Get In?' scenario.

I feel it's important to always have a plan.

That said, here's my plan in the event I don't get into grad school.

Obviously, I'm going to be crushed. Thus begins a slow descent into destitution. Since I see no way out of answering the phone for the rest of my miserable life, I'm just going to give up. Since I have no respect for myself and doubt my abilities, Morgan will leave me. And everyone else will abandon me as well because I'll probably smell bad. This leaves me alone and jobless. So I figure I'll go live on skid row, and make gin in an old dirty bathtub as a means to support my Thunderbird habit.

The gin will give me dreams. Worse than the ones I have now because I'll think that they're real. So that means I'll actually BELIEVE I was in Tom Hanks' house.

This will make me 'Crazy Gin Lady'.

So now I have a nickname...which probably makes me someone in the hierarchy of Skid Row. But I haven't figured that part out yet.

And I will wear runny knee-hi's.

And THAT becomes the title of the book that will free me from my destitution...

"With Runs in My Knee-Hi's: My Time on Skid Row"

Welcome to my world.


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