Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Blahs.

Please tell me how I can live in the land of sun and fun and still feel so blah. I put up a good front, but everything behind it is slowly cracking. Everyone has their own problems, though - the world doesn't need to hear mine. Suffice it to say that life is pretty stressful right now, with no immediate end in sight.

Waiting to hear from the city isn't helping. I'd just like to know either way so I can move on - but bureaucracy doesn't move at my speed, unfortunately.

I want this job. So badly. And I think that I'm prepared to not get it, but I won't know for sure until it happens. I want to think that it'll just roll off of my back and I'll move on to the next application, but I'm afraid of failure. And I know it's not failure. I applied on a lark and got an interview, so really it's a success. Tell that to my perfectionist side. Please.

Everything is difficult right now. Even the things that used to be easy aren't anymore. And maybe that's what bothers me the most.



At 5:58 AM, Anonymous blakspring said...

sounds like you're going through a rough patch, but hang in there. the red tape for any city job is ridiculously long and convaluted so don't take it as a bad sign - it's them, not you. i think you have an excellent shot at this job.

as stupid as it may sound, just try not to think about it for a while. my personality is prone to anxiety and i stress about anything and everything. and of course once the thing is past i realized i wasted a lot of energy and time on stuff that wasn't so bad. (now if i could just follow my own brilliant advice.)

you'll be good, girl. hugs.


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