Today's Forecast?

From Yahoo!:

Smoke. 97 degrees.

Smoke.

Ah, fire season.

Quote of the Day

From an interview with Ryan North, creator of daily dinosaur comics:

Seriously, cephalopods are from hell. Most people don't realize that an octopus totally has the fine motor skills to operate a gun or launch a nuclear missile. What can be done to safeguard our society from their unnatural powers of basic cognizance and extreme squishiness?

I fear there's not much left for us to do. We recently discovered that octopuses walk around disguising themselves as coral or snails, JUST FOR THE PRACTICE. They're up there with platypus for Freaky Animals: jet-powered, cannibalistic, intelligent, ambitious animals. I can see where the ancient mariners got their fears from.

There's an old Onion headline: "DOLPHINS EVOLVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS. 'Oh, Shit' Says Humanity". Replace "dolphins" with "squid" and "opposable thumbs" with "a sense of entitlement", and you'll know my fears.

I'm scared, too.

Son of a Witch!

Gregory Maguire's sequel to "Wicked" is out.

Yay!

It's on my desk...so I'll be reading that in lieu of working on my personal statement.

I'm never getting into grad school.

Wednesday.

And I should be working on my personal statement for grad school.

Yeah - I read the Us Weekly instead.

I am going to be too dumb to write this soon.

From Gene

Lyrics by OSCAR HAMMERSTEIN II and Gene
Music by RICHARD RODGERS

There's a bright golden dog on the meadow,
There's a bright golden dog on the meadow,
The Ki is as high as an effalump's eye,
An' she looks like she's climbin' clear up to the sky.

Oh, what a weeniful mornin',
Oh, what a weeniful day.
I got a weeniful feelin'
Ev'rything's goin' my way.

All the squamsters are standin' like statues,
All the squamsters are standin' like statues,
They don't turn their heads as they see me ride by,
But a little roof chicken is winkin' her eye.

Oh, what a weeniful mornin',
Oh, what a weeniful day.
I got a weeniful feelin'
Ev'rything's goin' my way.

All the sounds of the earth are like music,
All the sounds of the earth are like music,
The ween is so busy she don't miss a tree,
And a ol' weepin' willer is laughin' at me!

Oh, what a weeniful mornin',
Oh, what a weeniful day,
I got a weeniful feelin'
Ev'rything's goin' my way.
Oh, what a weeniful day.

My Weekend

Booze and secret passages and tattoos and flaming dr. peppers and the county fair and white trash and lesbians and pigs and funnel cakes and the vintage paper fair and postcards and pamphlets about the health benefits of coffee and steak and champagne and then a big long nap.

Whew!

Quote of the Day

From Lileks:

Complexity and sophistication count for something; if they didn’t, you’d hired the man who designed the Port-A-Potty to design your dream house. Hey, it has walls and a hole.

Today's Geography Lesson

I had no idea Argentina was so close to Antarctica.

My Brain is a Sieve

In one ear and out the other.

Meh.

I can't remember ANYTHING.

Thursday!

The first official day of fall...my favorite season.

Stupid Martha Stewart's Halloween edition of Living is out. As much as I hate her, I will buy it.

Stupid Halloween.

Sometimes I wonder what goes on in peoples' heads.

Maybe I should just start asking.

Back to the Mines

Palm Springs was ever so much fun - another day would've been good.

And I drove a Porsche!

Who knew I could drive a stick? Okay, so I didn't get out of third gear and repeatedly stalled while trying to park. But I still drove it.

Advice from a Real Librarian

So...

I guess that my diseased state wasn't caused by dust, because otherwise it would've been GONE BY NOW.

Instead, I sit here at my desk completely doped up (and dopey) - I'm just glad I'm not hallucinating. Although I'm not sure I entirely trust the squamster on my monitor. He's looking at me sideways with his beady eye.

Palm Springs should be a blast this weekend...I'll just roll from the bed to the pool.

LILEKS' NEW BOOK!

Ah, the beauty of Amazon.

I can't wait!!!

Medicine Head.

My head is floaty.

I hope it's just full of dust.

flap flap flap

drew is funny.

he has a book coming out!

Best! Day! Ever!

I graduated from college today.

I now have a Bachelors of Science in Communications Media from Indiana University of Pennsylvania.

Grad school, here I come!


And, in other news...

we're renting our entire property - it ours, all ours!!!!

Oh yeah, and since John is paying for it, I guess part his too?

New Dogblog!

The dog sitting down on its butt?

Ki does that, too.

No Gators Yet

So the gators aren't yet trolling the streets of New Orleans. Except for the one that escaped from the zoo.

There's your answer, Morgan.

Happy Birthday!

Jesus Christ.

If I hear one more complaint about the relief efforts for the hurricane that blames the Bush administration I'm going to scream.