Thursday, February 28, 2008


I have no idea if that's a word, but I've caught the grippe that's been going around here. And hey! That's pleasant, especially when I have to go to sleep at 9pm every night because I'm wrecked.

The good news is that competency #8 was signed off and now I'm trying to figure out what I know about oral and written communication skills as they apply to group work.

I know! You envy me SO MUCH. But after this one I'll be able to count the remaining on one hand. That will be sweet. Shut up...that is what I've got right now. That and the chunk of chocolate covered banana I ate earlier.

In other news, next week is the big industry awards show!

Um, yeah. I go because it's free and sometimes I see an old co-worker or two and we catch up on the status of my degree progress. This year, however, the invitations were coveted because a lot more people work here now...there's not even a spouse invite anymore. Not that mine wants to go...he humors me with the work-related stuff. And I think my boss finds him attractive. He is quite popular with the gay contingent. Anyway, it's all hush-hush since the table only seats 10... and I'm the only non-management person invited. Because I am the princess.

But! At least I have my usual non-spousal escort who is also invited so I have a designated driver for when I have too many gin and tonics before the show starts since I know that the company that buys the wine is cheap and we'll only get two glasses. Now that's a sentence. And I get to dress up so no one recognizes me. That's fun, too. I like to introduce myself just to see the reaction.

Back to group work.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Come ON!

High on my list this week? Maintaining my sanity. I walked into the office at 10:30 yesterday morning to a complete meltdown, which was completely resolved in about three hours.


Everything seems like an emergency when I'm not around, and when I appear it all gets thrown at me to handle because others just freeze. I changed out of my pajamas (what? I rode in from Vegas) and dug in and voila! Solved.


Competency #8 got kicked back to me over the weekend, which was defeating, especially considering that I hadn't turned in anything for over a week. But I've fixed it and we'll see what comes back in a few hours. And honestly, I've let school slip for about a week. I've done the bare minimum to keep everyone happy and nothing else. Now I have to get back on the horse because I REALLY NEED TO GRADUATE.

I can't take another semester of this. Ever. It's hard and I'm tired and I just want to be a librarian already.

But now the whining must stop and I must get back to work.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Today I Hate Everyone.

You know the old adage, "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine?"


I'm leaving in 45 minutes. And it's a good thing because otherwise someone would be getting the ass end of my sleepless night.


Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Today's Useless Fact

They Might be Giants' song "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" is a remake. The original was recorded by The Four Lads in 1953.

I had no idea.

In other news, I've hit the wall and am completely rebelling by doing NOTHING. This is not productive. Although I did make an amazing lasagna last night, it did not involve writing or research or peer mentoring.

I must start again this evening. So, it's another competency and some wiki entries.

In other other news, I am quickly transitioning into my new job before anyone notices, including changing desks so no one can find me to ask for copies. Or to answer the phone while she goes to lunch. Or order plotter paper since OMG it doesn't come from Staples?!?!!! Because SOMEONE here has realized that I might actually be more useful if I were actually utilizing the degree on which I've spent piles of the government's money.

And maybe I'll get paid what I'm worth. Or close to it. As long as it's enough to keep me here until my dream job shows up.

Which might be any day now. HA.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Halfway Home.

#7 signed off on last night.

I pushed myself so hard this week that I have a cold now. I completed three competencies in five days and kept it mostly together.

I've truly turned into a machine. I have so much crap going on around me right now but somehow I just keep churning away oblivious to all of it. Because I need everything else to be taken care of by someone who is not me, or I won't make it.

So far, so good. Although I don't sleep very much anymore, I'm not shutting down, as I just cannot do that. And I'm damn proud of myself.

I really CAN do this.

This afternoon, I'm leaving for Desert Hot Springs to spend the weekend on an outdoor sofa with a trashy magazine. I've earned it.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A Few Things.

One: competency H = done. A half dozen complete. My website still works, even.

Two: I will finish another this evening, and with sign off I'll be halfway through my e-portfolio.

Three: At the end of this semester I will be published not only on teh Intarweb, but also in print.

Four: If people keep scanning stuff willy-nilly in this office I am going to start hurting them. Badly. Especially because they end up wasting my time. Which, if you know anything about me, is what I hate the most.

Five: Someday I'm going to actually be the information specialist for my company. And I'm sure that will mean NOTHING. Sigh.

Six: The highlight of this week was falling asleep during a web conference on Monday night. Just a tip: don't take Benadryl before class. I woke up before it was my turn to talk.

Seven: My marriage has made it through these first three weeks unscathed. My husband is a saint. And he knows when to leave me alone.

Eight: I'm really a wreck right now. Some days I make it through...and some days I can't get out of my pajamas. I wake up at all hours of the night thinking. I've been up since 4:45 this morning. I got an oil change at 7:00.

Nine: I've been at work since 7:30. I'm getting REALLY ugly right now.

Did I mention that at the end of the week I'll be halfway through my e-portfolio? In just over three weeks? And I still have another nine to finish it?

That's what keeps me going.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Wait, What?

Did I say competency H? Because I evidently cannot obtain an FTP password to complete that one.


So I did B instead. Nine left to go...and I must complete two this week so I won't have to do any work over the long weekend. At least on this.

Plugging away.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

So, What Do You Do Here?

I have to write a job description. Of what I want to do, as opposed to what I actually do.

Well, I want to do nothing and make $100K a year. Can I start there and work backwards?

I want things to make sense here. I need tools to do that. Everyone tells me I'm going to be a department. Fine. Give me what I need to make that work. I want to be able to use new media to get us exposure - I can't do that if I'm answering the phone.

I don't have time to think about it, really - I have three other projects outside of work to work on - I don't need homework from the office, too.

So? I will have a charrette this evening. And finish competency H.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Take That, Intellectual Freedom!

HAHA! Competency #4 signed off! This one came with a little bit of trouble. It's rather hard to explain why intellectual freedom is a good thing and that privacy should be protected. But I did it.

So the next time someone tells you that you can't look at porn on the computer in the public library? Send them to me - I've got your back.

Monday, February 04, 2008

And Then?

I decided to do it anyway.

Glutton for punishment? Yes.

Opportunity for exposure? Most definitely.

Do pluses outweigh minuses? Time will tell.

Can I afford it? I can't afford not to.

So it's settled, and I'm excited and nervous and I haven't taken three classes since my first semester.

What is WRONG with me?

I have completed a third competency, with two more on deck to be finished by the end of the week. I'm channeling everything I have into completing this damn e-portfolio by March 31st.

Also: considering changing my Second Life avatar into a hobo. I'm creating curriculum, I have no idea what I'm doing with it, but everyone thinks I'm doing a bang-up job.

Still keeping it together, with no idea how.

Friday, February 01, 2008


As I sit here at my desk fending off my weekly panic attack and wishing I could just sink through the floor into a dreamless sleep, I'm also bummed that a special project just came up that I don't have the time or the money to do.

Research! Simulated environments! Libraries! It's like porn to me. What's more? It's with one of my favorite instructors.

But? I'm overwhelmed with school, work and life in general. And even if I weren't, I can't afford to take another class right now.

So bummed. So stressed. So tired.

I picked the wrong time to quit drinking. Or the most right time ever.