We Need More Family Round These Parts

Because a Christmas like this would totally rock.

Next year, perhaps?

Start making your plans, kids!

Achewood From the Future?

Today's Achewood is from January 2, 2006.

AND-

I want nachos, too.

Quote of the Day

When reporters asked Matthew Broderick if wife Sarah Jessica Parker gets jealous of his relationship with this “Producers” co-star Nathan Lane, Broderick quipped, “No, she likes me to have my other life. My dark, gay showbiz life.”

It's Oh So Quiet

It's me and internet radio today.

Oh, and Chris is keeping me company online. Which is good, or else I'd be talking to myself instead of to my monitor.

Wait...what?

you-are-in-the-internet

you-are-in-the-internet
Originally uploaded by Ween.

This is how every day at work goes.

Thanks to drew.

Another Hump Day.

Another pile of things to read.

But today? I am queen of email skills. Somehow in an email I convinced a client in Lebanon to reimburse travel expenses for a trip next week. A VERY EXPENSIVE trip. I mean VERY. Like half my yearly salary expensive. All because I was operating under the assumption that they were going to reimburse in the first place.

Naivete has its upside, I guess.

This Year's Christmas Memory

Christmas 2005 will go down in history as the year the dog ate Christmas dinner. Out of the sink. Before it was cooked. Three missing cornish hens - one of which was located, one had already been eaten. She ate the other one Christmas day and yesterday her belly sounded like it was full of aliens. I secretly like it when she's sick because she just lays around with me all day...but the sound of her belly frightens me. Anyway, she's much better today and full of vim as usual. We're just glad she ate the other one before it rotted for too long.

Dog or goat?

You decide.

In Between Days

And here I sit in the office. Alone. Unless you count the pile of books and CDs and the new Star magazine on my desk. Oh, and teh intarweb. Except that Lileks is on vacation and now I have nothing to read in the morning while I drink my coffee in the 65-degree office.

I would maybe like to NOT WORK once in a while. Let me rephrase that - I would maybe like to NOT SIT IN THE OFFICE once in a while. Because we all know that I don't work anyway.

It's going to be a looooong week.

My Fancy Santa Belly

I am totally sporting Santa Belly for Christmas. I noticed it so happily perched on my abdomenal area just now - it says "Thank you for feeding me french fries and truffles and pizza and anything else you see that must go into your mouth RIGHT NOW or you will surely die. And oh yeah, good luck in trying to disguise me. I'm too big to even suck in anymore."

And so, many layers will cover it up until the new year when I beat my body into submission.

Or get a girdle.

Cornish Game Hens and Bacon Fat

You can tell Christmas is coming...

The Gourmet cookbook is nestled in my lap as I figure out how much bacon I need to cook to get 3 oz. of fat.

My elliptical?

Lying in state.

The First Day of Winter

It's 80 degrees
the sun shines, a slight breeze blows-
winter in L.A.

Oh. My. God.

This story almost made me pee in my pants.

Really, I guess it should have almost made me poop them.

Revolting Librarians

Yeah, I want this.

And the sequel.

Too bad I found them too late for Christmas.

They would be appropriate for a going-to-school present, though.

Just a thought.

I Can't Afford to Live Here

According to a post LA ist last week, I don't make enough to rent a two-bedroom apartment.

Good thing I live in a dual-income household.

No wonder there are three families living in a single-family dwelling. L.A. is just going to become one big high-priced ghetto.

The hill country of Texas calls to me.

Today's Revelation

I have NO IDEA how to write in APA style.

As a journalism student I ALWAYS used the MLA stylebook. Because that's what everyone uses. (Except for the kooks who use the Chicago style manual. But they're English majors.) MLA is easy. Let me repeat - e-a-s-y.

And in broadcasting I used the AP stylebook, of course. That goes without saying.

APA?

Completely foreign and seemingly irrelevant for library science writing. And I'm sure they have their reasons for using it, but it's clunky and confusing and I DON'T WANT TO LEARN ANOTHER STYLE.

Which is what it comes down to - I've used the MLA stylebook as my BIBLE for so many years that I don't want to convert to the cult of APA.

WAH.

Ode to A Tree and A Dog

Wrapping some presents
dog is bored - ornament falls
she gets in trouble.

This? Is Why I Live in LA.

Courtesy, as it so often is, of Lileks:

The Cali Girl Barbie smelled like suntan oil, incidentally. The only scented Barbie I’ve ever seen. I can think of nothing else that describes the absolutely pathetic nature of being middle-aged man in the middle of the continent on a day where the wind-chill was minus 20 than that: standing in a crowded toy aisle with your nose up to the tiny apeture of a Barbie box to catch a brief synthetic whiff of suntan oil.

He needs to move to Arizona.

Friday!

That's all - I've been rotting at my desk ALL WEEK.

I can't wait until school starts.

The Tree

No ornaments off
water still in the tree stand
think she ate butter.

Christmas Tree - Day 3

Last night - ornaments.
will the dog eat the red balls?
Moment of truth soon.

Why you should fall to your knees and worship a librarian

I Need a Day Planner.

Wait...what?

Yeah, that came out of my mouth the other day. I have NEVER used any sort of calendar/PDA/appointment keeping device.

And then I had a thought - my academic career until now always involved in-person meetings where upcoming assignments were announced. And oh yeah, all I did was go to school and work in the library and throw pretzels.

Yep. Not anymore.

Now I work full-time, run a household, beat the dog and I'm now throwing in grad school for kicks.

Virtual grad school. No one there in the front of the class to say 'this is due soon'. And that's a scary thought because I am now responsible for KNOWING EVERYTHING ON MY OWN.

What was I thinking?

What began as 'hey! I don't have to go to class' has quickly morphed into 'holy crap there is no class - now what?'

Now what is a greensheet and Blackboard.

And - a day planner. Sigh. A kicky retro day planner. THAT will make me feel better about having to write things down.

Because there's no way IN HELL I'm carrying another electronic device. That has its own alphabet.

I have to learn the Dewey Decimal system, and there isn't enough room in my head for both.

"I ated a light."

I don't usually link to posts about children, although I read several blogs that involve them and their mothers.

But this story...

makes me think about what my dog may be doing to our tree right now.

It also reminds me that it could be worse - it could be a CHILD putting its mouth on the blue bulb. And drinking the tree water.

I'm never having kids.

Christmas Tree Update

The tree, still standing
with lights but no ornaments
what will the dog do?

And also:

the dog poked at tree
leave it, we told her - so she
drinks the tree water.

Quote of the Day

Courtesy of Jen:

Pfft. A home invader would assume you had a gun – but a machete? That’s completely out of left field. It’s like the Spanish Inquisition – nobody expects it. Plus, if you hack off some bad guy’s hand, his days of breaking and entering are over. Stabbing is nice because it allows you to deliver deep hurting AND an object lesson. Shooting just doesn’t afford the same nuance.

I believe this is why a knife is stuffed between our mattress and box spring.

A Christmas Tree Haiku

I want a pine tree
to decorate so pretty
please Ki, don't eat it.

My Virtual Classmates

First off, I'm probably going to have to make damn sure that no one ever finds out about this blog because I'm sure it's going to get pretty snarky.

Because hi? I can't leave the fact that you announce to all of us that you're a huge Scorpions fan alone.

And I don't think anyone should expect me to do so.

And also?

Basic spelling skills should be a requirement for this degree. Or a promise in blood to USE SPELL CHECK. It's provided for a reason - one click before you post is all it takes.

Oh, this may be a lot more entertaining than I ever imagined.

Echo and the Bunnymen.

Bitchy Brits.

I would've complained about the mic, too.

But they did rock. So much more than the opening band who had no idea who they wanted to be.

It was totally 1987 at HOB last night. And all the guys who didn't get laid in high school and stayed home listening to Echo and the Bunnymen were there. Doing that dance where you hold your head in your hands.

Sometimes I'm glad I was too young to participate the first time around. I was listening to the Care Bears.

Winter.

The office is a refrigerator. And I get to sit in the draft at the door that no one is interested in keeping shut.

Tomorrow? Blanket.

OH MY GOD I WANT THIS.

Because it's true.

Dogs in Costumes

I almost peed myself.

This is funny.

Anyone Can Get a Book Deal

This is not news because there are A LOT of bad books out there.

However, Morgan and I got something from his parents' house last week that could make a really fun book.

But I'm not telling - then someone will steal it.

Just like they're going to steal my movie idea because I was talking about it out loud last week at the airport.

Good thing no one wants to watch a movie about a homeless wanna-be librarian.