Dilbert Ultimate House

I don't know how I feel about the Dilbert Ultimate House.

It's not what I would've designed.

Worst. Joke. Ever.

"You know when your horse is headed down toward the waterfalls or when your horse is drowning, it's a good time to change horses in midstream," Kerry said.


After a pause, he added: "May I also suggest that we need a taller horse? We could get through deeper waters that way."

Kerry is 6'4", Bush is 5'11".

I can't believe this guy is funny at any time. I think people politely chuckle and think, "God, he's lame".

Hmm...I think that about a lot of people.

Day 3

Third day without a drink. Of course, this would be a lot more interesting if I were actually an alcoholic, or even a problem drinker.

It's just funny to say I'm on the wagon.

On the Wagon

Yes, I'm on the wagon until Halloween.

I need to prove to myself I can go 30 days without a drink.

Our Weekend Alone

So, we sent the dog away on Friday and she had a wonderful time playing with all the other dogs. She did not, however, enjoy the crating. That's what she gets for jumping the baby gate. All in all it was very successful, and hopefully she is now cured of her issue. At least the dog socialization one.

There are plenty more.

In the meantime, we went out and partied like it was 1999...I wore an experimental shirt that didn't elicit the response that I thought it might. Of course, I guess I have to consider the crowd I was wearing it for. And, as usual, I drank too much. What a surprise.

Sunday was most painful.

She's Gone.

We put her in someone else's truck and she's gone away.

I miss her already...no matter that she'll be back in 48-72 hours.

Christopher Nance

Is this Christopher Nance, or is this?

I vote for the former. He's no victim.

Why Didn't I Ever Think of This?

Stripper Poles on campus.

How enterprising...too bad we didn't think of that when we were in school - that would've been a big money maker.

Paragraph of the Day

Once again, Lileks...

I don’t think the debates will matter much, frankly. They might if we lived in a world where we met Al-Qaeda executives at the UN to thrash around the matter. Resolved: The fanatical death-loving Islamacist cult should just knock it off, already, okay? If anything, they will reinforce the idea among the middle ground that they do not want to hear John Kerry talk at them for the next four years, because his speeches are like Vulcan neck pinches. A dry clap on the shoulder, then your eyes roll up and you slide to the floor. Good work Mr. Spock.

I sure don't want to listen to him for four years.

I'm hungry.

I'm hungry.
Originally uploaded by Ween.

The obligatory dog photo for the week.

She's so hungry she'd eat a rubber hamburger if we let her.

This picture makes her look tough. In reality, she's about as tough as a hamster.

Halloween!

I won a costume on Ebay...it shipped today.

I can't wait until it arrives. It might be the funniest thing ever...it's definitely a thinking person's costume idea.

Funny how I used to hate Halloween.

Next week - invitations to the Halloween soiree!

Some Bloggers Made a Difference

Triumph of the bloggers?

The rest of us just vomit out drivel. I'm okay with that.

I'm No Dog Expert...

But reading Sunday's Fark thread about everyone's dogs made my eyes cross. I'm not sure why most dog owners suddenly consider themselves "experts" once they have a pup. I probably had 10 minutes where I thought I knew what I was doing - and I was wrong. The only advice I'd ever give anyone is to train your dog to sit, stay and come when called. And NEVER feed it from the table.

Every dog is different - suggesting one thing that worked for you doesn't mean it works for all dogs. Nothing typical works for Ki - we've learned by trial and error with the help of two amazing trainers that she is a special, very intelligent case who tries to manipulate any situation to her advantage.

I think a lot of people would have given up on her long ago - she's been a difficult dog, and I don't expect that to magically end in March when she turns 2. But she's ours and we love her.

And she'll be absolutely fantastic once she's 7.

Shut Up

Argh.

If everyone in the office doesn't shut up I'm going to implode.

It's like listening to 15 yappy dogs, and no one makes sense.

I Want to Be His Friend

I just discovered Alex Shear.

I want to hang out with him and his stuff...my boss is going to meet him next month.

So jealous.

Speaking of Dog...

We had lesson #4 today. At Lake Balboa, with strange dogs and ducks and people.

It was very successful and the trainers are extra happy with her progress...of course, we have plenty of homework and a lot of work ahead of us. They're hoping to return her to a group class situation, and that will be what our last lesson deals with - fortunately, that's a month away.

And we have to quit feeding her. Well, almost.

Next weekend she's going away to sleepaway camp.

We're going to a birthday party we won't have to come home from.

Life is good.

Ummm...

I don't know what to say about this.

My dog would spend all day trying to bite it off.

Why I'm Dead, Bitch!

Sigh...here's what they found in Rick James.

Sock

I'm reading Sock right now.

A far cry from "Dog's Best Friend".

It's 10:00 in the morning.

I'm drinking straight out of the Jack Daniel's bottle in the kitchen, with a coffee back.

I might have a problem.

Slim Goodbody

Remember him?

Gardeners

So, I realized this morning as I was driving to work that the gardeners in my neighborhood could quite possibly make more money than I.

At that point, I was ready to curl into the fetal position.

It's going to be a bad day.

Hope for Higher Education

Michael Moore's appearance at a So Cal college has been vetoed by school officials.

$37,500 - I don't make that in a year.

Growing Pains

Tracey Gold got arrested for drink driving.

I prefer the British term to the American.

I love drew

Spamusement!

Spamusement! always makes me laugh.

I Might be Interesting

I realized today that maybe my life is more intriguing that I thought it was.

I'm not sure that all of it is good, but at least my autobiography will contain an interesting chapter or two.

And, if work keeps on like it is, a nightmare descent into booze.

Halloween is coming...

Master Shake.

A preview of our party theme.

There is a girl outside the window of my office with amazing pink earrings.

Are the 80's making a comeback?

And I Still See Their Faces

This image is from an online collection at the Simon Wiesenthal Center's website.

You have to distance yourself from the faces, or it becomes too painful to work with the images.

Spam of the Day

From: Mr. Judic Ahmed

Subject: IF YOU'RE OKAY REPLY AND CALL ME 00226 76 62 74 29 IMMEDIATELY

I'm glad Mr. Ahmed is so concerned about me, but there is no 00226 country code.

A Real-Life Librarian Story

So, as a follow up to my post yesterday about librarians, I got an email from my girlfriend Becky, who is a librarian in Ohio. She shared this with me as one of her favorite stories...

"The man who became increasingly agitated when I refused to fill out his personal dating service web site's information page for him. He wanted to give me answers to all the questions that they asked and then have me
type them in for him. He, apparently, was not proficient with computers. I explained to him that I couldn't fill in the pages for him, but I could show him how to access the dating service and he would have to fill in the questions himself. He was PISSED and starting screaming at me about how he can't believe how unreasonable and unhelpful I was. I had to ask him to leave---and I"m sure the dating world missed out on a great catch that
day".

Yep - that'll be me someday.

Dispatches from a Public Librarian

Dispatches from a Public Librarian is my favorite McSweeney's feature. It's everything I'll need to know in my next career as a librarian.

Traffic

Los Angeles is the worst city for traffic congestion.

Nobody walks in L.A.

Too Darn Hot

Well, it looks like summer has finally arrived - in September. Really, I expect it to be warm still, but 100+ is killing me.

El Nino, where are you?

My Pop Culture Hero

Charles Phoenix is my mid-century popular culture idol.

The Face of Delinquency

Ki Baby
Originally uploaded by Ween.

She is awfully cute, even if she is a terror.

Delinquent Dog Update

Training session #3 was this morning. Nothing makes me happier than seeing Ki play nicely with another dog. She's still pretty rude, but she has made an amazing amount of progress in 3 sessions and gets to go to the park next time.

There's hope for her yet.

Spam of the Day

From: Goo Shooter

Subject: someone's going to lose an eye

Booze

I tried Han Soju for happy hour today.

The verdict? Pretty good...much like vodka, but with 1/3 of the calories. And anything that's good straight is a winner in my book.

FYI - we got the bottle from the building owner.

Here is what happened to Chris 'N' Pitts, by the way.

I wonder where that neon went.

BBQ!

Zeke's Smokehouse has come highly recommended by my girlfriend Susan.

I'm always on the lookout for good BBQ, especially since the demise of Chris and Pitts'. I should've known that everything was downhill from that moment.

Now I"m hungry for a rib.

Hump Day

I have no black ink for my printer.

That puts a kink in what I have to do today.

Hurry, Staples and
bring me a black ink cartridge
copies cannot wait.