The Bitch is Back.

I'm totally going to see Elton John tonight, and somehow I think Halloween might be the most appropriate day to do that. I thought about dressing up as a drag queen or Sir Elton himself, but I feel like every day is Halloween in Vegas and I probably would just blend in with everyone else.

And we all know I like to be center of attention.

So in the midst of the fragility and chaos and jackassery that seems to be the new normal these days, I'm taking some time out to hold my tiny dancer closer before the red tail lights head for Spain.

Oh yes, I am well-versed in 70s era Elton John. It's amazing I ever made it through grad school with the amount of trivial CRAP that lives in my head.

HAPPY HALLOWED WEEN*!



*you know they named Halloween after me, right?

A Sign of the Times

And a good one for librarians...usage is up.

So much for the irrelevance of the public library in the 21st century.

What A Difference A Day Makes...

...or maybe a year. Last year at this time I was on the beach in Hawaii. Today I'm excited about leaving my house.

Sigh.

I know. I know that I'm lucky to have a good job that almost pays the bills, and that I have a savings account to cover the rest for now. But I'm tired of having to think about it. I'm tired of having to make choices and thinking of the "what ifs", and it makes me want to not be at home, because when I'm not there I don't think so much about it. And then I'm guilty, because my husband has been at home for 10 months, thinking the same thoughts every day, but he has nowhere to escape to get away from them. And I feel bad when I don't want to be there, because it has nothing to do with him and the last thing I want him to think is that I'm trying to get away from him. It's the situation that I want to leave.

I want everything back the way it was. The days have turned into weeks and months and nothing has changed. Every time it looks like it might, something dumb happens and we're back to square one. But at some point it will change, and I just hold on to that, whatever it means.

I just hope it means another beach vacation someday soon, because I want to have fun again.

Something Different.

Here is something new! And not the same old drivel I keep re-hashing in my head that usually involves figuring out how to easily sell my feet on the Internet for a lot of money.

I might not be kidding about that...so if anyone has any ideas, feel free to share. I have really cute feet!

Anyway.

Since I obviously don't have enough to entertain me or enough letters after my name, I've decided to become a LEED Accredited Professional. And while I feel like the whole LEED certification thing is just a way for the Green Building Council to make a pile of money, the general public eats that crap up and I get to be the person in my company who is the official LEED AP. Really, all it means is that I can walk people through the certification process - it certainly doesn't make me any kind of designer.

But hell, my company is paying for it, and maybe I can sell it to a library someday. It's just a bunch of memorization, and as long as I don't drink too much before the test I should be just fine. At least I hope so, because the test is $400 a pop. See? Money-making scheme.

I love the government.

Days Go By

I don't like October. I'm not sure what it is, but this month makes me terribly sad, to the point that I'll cry uncontrollably in the corner for no reason. Last night I broke down in the car in a parking garage because we had gotten lost on the way to dinner and were late. But I pulled myself together and had a fine time whacking crabs with a hammer with our Korean clients.

Sometimes I don't want to pull myself together. I want to be able to fall apart, to be a mess, to lie in bed and watch Tabatha's Salon Takeover and get up when November arrives. Shut up. I only watched one episode when I was sick.

Nothing bad has ever happened to me in October - no one died, I never lost a job, no breakups, nothing. Last year I went to Hawaii in October, so really you'd think that I'd have fond memories of the month of pumpkins and candy and crunchy leaves. But no. As near as I can figure it's the change of seasons. I really hate waking up before dawn to go to work, and I just anticipate those days when it'll be dark before I get home. It just feels like someone is pushing down on my shoulders, shoving me down into the abyss of self-pity.

But I pull myself out of bed every morning at the same time, make myself presentable, and pretend that I'm fine for 10 hours until I can go home and pretend I'm fine so that no one worries, because God knows everyone around me has enough to worry about without having to tiptoe around my madness.

And really, I should be telling stories about the circus that is my office. Because DUDE - do I have stories.

Here's a Baby.

Maybe that'll make us all feel just a little better today.

Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle K

So here's a weird story.

Last weekend one of the girls had her dog at the office. Being a dog, he vomited on the carpet (as they like to do). She didn't notice and left and one of the other girls came in the next day and found it. No big deal.

But.

In the leavings was a pile of bones that looked as though they had been bleached. Where does a dog find and eat bleached bones? And how do they come back up in the same manner? The strangest part was that this all happened in front of the reception desk - and the receptionist had been fired the day before.

(Cue scary music)

Needless to say, the office has been cleansed. And while I don't feel anything different, probably due to the fact that I don't put much stock in those types of things, it certainly can't hurt to make motions to change the energy in this place. God knows we could use it right now.